This is dangerous and can also be incredibly hurtful to their loved ones, who dont understand why they would hide such a thing. Are you or a loved one possibly suffering from drug and alcohol addiction? "Liquor is one way out an'death's the other., People with family histories of alcoholism tend to have lower levels of endorphins- the endogenous morphine that is responsible for many of our pleasure responses- than do people genetically disinclined to alcoholism. By Buddy T Rather, reach out and take that person's hand. And while children of parents with substance use disorders may be more likely to face the same struggle, they are also capable of recovering from addiction and living a fulfilled life. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid. To someone grieving on their birthday, wishing you a happy day despite your sadness. I called her instead to say I was moving to London and told her she could have the house and everything else we owned, which wasn't much. They often will drink more alcohol to ease the pain they feel from prescription pills or heroin. Thats why we recommend it daily. Zig Ziglar, Tomorrow is the most important thing in life; it comes to us at midnight very clean. Offer sincere condolences Sometimes, less is more. Using drugs and alcohol can feel like the perfect way to escape life stressors and other difficult issues. Stockholm Syndrome is a great way to describe the control addiction has despite the devastation it causes. Alcohol or drug addiction is not only a mental health condition; it also has the power to take lives and ruin family members. It can feel like being imprisoned, with your mind and body at war with one another. Neither does bathing. 17. We hurt others. Whether you are seeking treatment, have already completed a program, or are supporting your significant other on their recovery journey, time and commitment are required. ("They were always such a lonely person."). You do things to facilitate drug use that you would never have done otherwise, and your friends and family may start to feel like they dont even know you anymore. Of course, watching the clock for the start-time is probably a bad sign, but here are some simple pieces of advice for the young. As the partner of an addict, you too play an important role in the recovery process. Youre not just a number to us, and our team of dedicated professionals is waiting to greet you with compassion, understanding and respect. That partner may take on the addicts problems, attempting to keep them safe, cleaning up their messes, providing them with financial support, and bailing them out of legal situations. Life can be difficult at times, but most people can overcome addiction and live life fully again with time and perseverance. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. A deeply grieving person will often let daily tasks fall by the wayside. Things can quickly turn destructive as getting drunk or high becomes a priority. An alcoholic, a real alcoholic, is not the same man at all. Comparing ones progress in recovery to that of others will only distract you from improving your life. (Adorno would have savored that, as well.) When paired with the support of drug and alcohol recovery centers, your chance for long-term recovery is higher and your future is bright! Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion. Muhammad Ali, 14. If you need to extricate yourself, do so graciously and let the person know you'll follow up in a day or so. Addiction is a complex disease. To which I always respond, "I guess that means you keep heroin in your liquor cabinet?, Alcohol has its own well-know defects as a medication for depression but no one has ever suggested - ask any doctor - that it is not the most effective anti-anxiety agent yet known., I have, he went on, betrayed myself with, I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves., Those unexpected morality lessons provided by the trip had jolted me into some kind of action. After someone dies through drugs or alcohol relatives and friends often feel social stigma and isolation. As many inside and outside of recovery know, hope is one of the most important things to hold on to. People are not addicted to alcohol or drugs, they are addicted to escaping reality.. Learning how to respond to losses in healthy ways is a big part of recovery. But that doesnt make it any less true. Or, if your loved one is in recovery, support them by letting them know how proud you are of their bravery and progress. They will drink even when they know it hurts them, even when they know it hurts others. Once your loved one stops using drugs and alcohol, you may expect them to simply get better overnight. The same can be said about millions of births., I'm sick of the ignorance that lack of funding has generated, of the fathers who apporach me at dinner parties with their four-year-old girls clasped to their pant legs and say, "Yeah, but studies say kids can buy drugs more easily than they can buy alcohol." The decision to stay clean is a repeated one, and some days are harder than others. Make friends, so you dont feel isolated (as mentioned, isolation can get in the way of recovery). Long-term drug and alcohol abuse can create changes in the brain which may even persist after a person stops using. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. Work on constructive ways to approach potential failures. These succinct, straightforward morsels of wisdom can help us find clarity in confusion and brightness in the darkness. This is because the body takes in the alcohol and uses it to replace nourishment in the body. Self-love is one of the most important steps for recovering addicts to achieve because it is oftentimes one of the root causes of addiction. I returned to Glasgow, planning to say a final goodbye to Anne and get out of her life, but ended up drinking with buddies in the Chip Bar and never seeing her. Sending best wishes.. A key element of recovery, particularly in. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on Amy Marie Waltz If your partner struggles with addiction, you cannot force them to seek help. a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center to find out about treatment options is a first step in regaining control over your future. The weight of the past can be particularly heavy to a person in recovery. Whoever wrote that one hadnt a clue. Moreover, treatment helps clients deconstruct current ways of thinking and learn healthier ways to respond to difficulties, while providing structure and support. Tom Stoddart, 35. At the same time, substances can dull emotions and make painful feelings disappear temporarily. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. Treatment offers structure and accountability, increasing the odds of remaining sober. Alice Walker, 34. But this is not true. For this reason, many people end up using substances to cope with emotional pain, bad memories, poor sleep, guilt, shame, anxiety, or terror. When someone drinks excessive amounts of alcohol or engages in substance abuse, their liver begins to function less effectively. People often say that motivation doesnt last. Answer emails promptly if the person reaches out to you. If that's the case, not talking about it may feel awkward and disingenuous. This not only affects how you feel physically but also affects your mental state in really negative ways. I dont know where Im going from here, but I promise it wont be boring. groups, is focusing on what you can accomplish today. In codependent relationships, the addicts needs are prioritized over those of the other partner. It doesnt have to end in death. The information provided on Addictions.com is intended for educational purposes, and is not a substitute for professional medical treatment. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. I do not give it as the world does. Allow the person to feel whatever they feel. But, if you believe that recovery is possible, even when obstacles and triggers appear, you will seek support and solutions. Rather expresses your condolences; don't make it about you. If you are feeling trapped by your addiction, take the first step by asking for help. Conclusion: there are seven stages of Alcoholism: early identification, denial, anger, depression, giving up on sobriety, restoration, and relapse. Each day in recovery, ones commitment and capacities are tested. However, in reality they are enabling the addicts behaviors by removing the consequences of their actions. We all lose friends we lose them in death, to distance, and over time. Consistent alcohol use Alcoholics often turn to alcohol to solve problems in the day. A person never truly gets over a suicide loss. Experiencing trauma, injustice, neglect or abuse can make a person feel like they have little control over their own life. Life is too dreary to endure. Valentine C.Families Bereaved by Alcohol Or Drugs: Research on Experiences, Coping and Support. Start by reaching out to a treatment center like, Nelson Mandela truly understood the importance of facing insurmountable odds head-on. Some try to recreate the feeling of the first time they used, struggling to recognize the level of control that alcohol and drugs now has over their lives. In the long-run, however, addiction makes a person feel even more powerless then before. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. Helen Keller, Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit. Bernard Williams, I have learned over the years that when ones mind is made up, this diminishes fear. Rosa Parks, Sometimes we motivate ourselves by thinking of what we want to become. A negative mind will never give you a positive life. Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven't touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now. Dallin H. Oaks. Recovery is a lifelong journey of self-discovery, growth, and transformation. Brene Brown, 19. Although we will all experience failure, it is our resilience that determines the outcome. Likely, you have experienced many negative consequences as a result of your addiction, but there also might have been something seemingly positive that drugs and alcohol provided. I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane., Hitch: making rules about drinking can be the sign of an alcoholic,' as Martin Amis once teasingly said to me. Treatment programs like. Routledge. Its all about the mindset, so allow these 101 Addiction Recovery Quotes to inspire you! During this stage of the grieving process, we may say things such as: If we were able to get through to them sooner If only we were able to get them help. If only we had tried to listen However, recovery is about much more than just getting clean and sober. Human beings need to connect with others to thrive, so its important to fix the relationships you can, and replace those you cant. Bereavement through substance use: findings from an interview study with adults in England and Scotland. You may not yet possess the tools to do so, but treatment you can develop these tools. For this reason. You want to touch the heavens, you want to feel glory and euphoria, but the trick is it takes work. Anthony Kiedis, Its been a learning process, Im growing. Its the life in your years. Of course, no one chooses to be addicted to drugs or alcohol. Allow your loved one to take ownership over their sobriety and recognize their small victories. Also, do not blame yourself. Despite best efforts, they continue to use. Giving up drugs and alcohol is one of the most difficult things a person can do when they are physically and emotionally dependent on substances. It takes toughness to make it through the pain of drug and alcohol detox. You may find it difficult to keep your thoughts from becoming negativelife isnt perfect after allbut you shouldnt try to fight it. Receive (and give) empathy and sympathy from a person with the same situation as yours. If you are afraid of relapsing, educate yourself on how to recognize signs of relapse, build a system of support and learn what to do in case one occurs. Although we cant change the past, we do have a say in what our futures will look like. Weight loss, malnutrition, and dehydration Alcoholics often do not eat or will eat very little. Ace Frehley, 11. However, hyper-focusing on what you wish you could have changed can lead to unhelpful negative thought patterns. Neither does bathing. These ancient proverbs cover everything, from finding direction in life to maintaining sobriety to achieving inner peace. Each day, addicts and alcoholics must choose their own wellbeing over using substances. Unfortunately, those moments of escape are only temporary and come with many consequences. These factors combined can lead to addiction. Some may be able to curb their substance abuse, but without fully addressing their underlying issues, they develop another addiction such as pornography, gambling or overeating. Rather than putting a bandaid over a gaping wound, recovery helps us address these issues head on and heal. But it is how we choose to move forward that matters. You get through it. The beautiful truth is that recovery has given me freedom and the confidence to go out in the world and leave my own mark. In fact, a. found that individuals who have experienced stressful childhood life events are more likely to lack a sense of autonomy and self-connectedness, which can lead to several negative consequences, including emotional challenges and difficulties managing new situations. Despite best efforts, they continue to use. Think about the positive things that you can accomplish today. Self care is equally important for those in dysfunctional relationships where addiction is a factor. We're here 24/7 to help you get the care you need to live the life you want. Facing this first obstacle is a necessary step to getting clean. Finances, relationships, and personal wellbeing all get sacrificed, while the underlying issues the person was struggling with tend only to worsen. Think about the positive things that you can accomplish today. Addiction creates, and psychological dependence. Problems with intimate relationships Alcoholics often have issues with intimacy as a result of drinking. Bereavement following a fatal overdose: The experiences of adults in England and Scotland. John C. Umhau, MD, MPH, CPE is board-certified in addiction medicine and preventative medicine. I see that a man cannot give himself up to drinking without being miserable one-half his days and mad the other., A drinking man's someone who wants to forget he isn't still young and believing, Millions of deaths would not have happened if it werent for the consumption of alcohol. All rights Reserved. Chinese proverb, 31. It is normal to be afraid. Grief can take a debilitating toll on the heart, Or, to be cruder, a piece of shit that the universe revolves around., When you quit drinking you stop waiting., Mendacity is a system that we live in," declares Brick. The mental and physical state of Alcoholism will fluctuate as the disease progresses from its initial stage to its final location. It is easy to get caught up in negative thought patterns or to feel like you arent capable of leading a healthy, addiction-free life like those around you. As impossible as the withdrawal process may seem, it is a necessary obstacle to overcome. The disease of Alcoholism progresses into addiction, which means that the alcoholic cannot stop drinking no matter how hard they try to quit. On an emotional level, many find themselves trapped in shame spirals, blaming themselves for their addiction and then continuing to use to escape their guilt. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Sure, there are constructive lessons to be taken from past failures. Share your grief and memories (as mentioned, it is important to talk about the death of your loved one). Instead, recognize your fears and address them through treatment. They will only be compounded. Oftentimes, addicts find that by throwing themselves into a productive form of addiction, such as to exercise, yoga, reading, or community service, it can help to keep the mind preoccupied. Some of the most profound sayings come down to us from the Chinese tradition of Zen proverbs. All that amounts to is food for the wild beasts of hunger., If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel!, It is difficult to feel sympathy for these people. This is not because you are weak; on the contrary, getting help requires great strength. People who claim not to understand why anyone would get addicted to drugs are usually people who haven't tried them or who are genetically fairly invulnerable to them., Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover., One day at a time, sweet Jesus. If any of these quotes strike a chord with youuse them. Fear lies at the heart of addiction. 9. There will be days when you feel like everything is hopeless, but remember that time heals all wounds. The. But you gotta search within you. Drugs and alcohol can actually hijack important areas of the brain including the. Tip toe if you must, but take the step. It starts with recognizing that you have the power to choose recovery. But avoid any reaction that may be considered critical. If you or someone you love is experiencing a substance use disorder, help is available. . Dean Dauphinais, 18. Some even begin to resent others who dont struggle with addiction. It wasnt like you flick a switch, and youre sober. Sometimes, it helps to hear motivational quotes about willpower and finding the strength to overcome any challenge, no matter how great. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. You have to learn how to do everything all over again. Long-term drug and alcohol abuse can create changes in the brain which may even persist after a person stops using. I just hope that's not my final fate. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, and even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. Rather than blaming yourself for your addiction, be kind to yourself. So often we feel powerless in this world. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. This is where things can become incredibly dangerous for someone who may have been struggling with drinking problems. Addiction creates physical and psychological dependence. Anger is the second stage of grief, where the person will start to resent their loved one for their addiction and may make snide remarks or stop speaking to them entirely. Keep the door open. And what your potential is! The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness. Oftentimes, celebrities in our culture are held to unfairly high standards when it comes to what is deemed acceptable by the public. You also cannot force them to accept help, but you can care for yourself by creating healthy boundaries and seeking support. In recovery, as the damage addiction has done to your brain starts to heal and your thinking starts to clear, it can be easy to beat yourself up about past mistakesor to drown in the memory of traumatic experiences you were forced to suffer. Anonymous, 3. that will support you in this journey and help make recovery a reality for you. without the substance, causing immense pain and cravings. 1 While there may be beautiful memories to share, there may be just as many traumatic ones the When you become dependent on a substance, it can feel harder and harder to face reality without it. To overcome this, try to provide support in the following ways: If you say you are going to follow up, do it. That has not been my experience. I didn't care., But I'm not a saint yet. Although your drug of choice may have caused you a great deal of pain, the thought of not having it may seem even scarier. I'm an alcoholic. Each piece of content is reviewed by our team of medical experts, consisting of doctors, registered nurses, and licensed therapists, as well as by our editorial staff. Relapse is just a sign that you need to make a change in your life or your treatment. But start by opening yourself up to the idea that recovery is an option for you. That partner may take on the addicts problems, attempting to keep them safe, cleaning up their messes, providing them with financial support, and bailing them out of legal situations. Sending fondest wishes to someone who is grieving their birthday.. There is also an important emotional element that Burystn addresses. As difficult as it can be to see an alcoholic close up, it can be even harder to know that person struggling from afar. Recovery is an ongoing process, for both the addict and his or her family. Empower yourself by getting back up instead of allowing failure to defeat you. Treatment programs like Liberty Ranchs helps participants manage and address their underlying conditions in healthier, more productive ways. Some alcoholics hide their disease from others, while others wear their addiction on their sleeves. If anything, offer to be there if the person wants to talk. This love and addiction quote is true on many levels. Although it is difficult to track down who exactly Lacey L is, her insight helps explain why so many cling to their addictions. They have tried to get sober on their own and then felt hopeless when they were unable to do so. Templeton L, Valentine C, et al. The best way out is always through. A lot of people who drink too much also drink in secret. Those in addiction recovery work to accept the parts of themselves they may have obscured with drugs and alcohol. In codependent relationships, the addicts needs are prioritized over those of the other partner. If you struggle with a substance use disorder, you may truly believe you cannot change your life. In some cases, Addictions.com could charge a small cost per call, to a licensed treatment center, a paid advertiser, this allows Addictions.com to offer free resources and information to those in need. We can learn much from these people, who express the pain, struggles, and joys of life with such beauty no matter the medium. Sure, thats a possibility, but this way of thinking causes unproductive shame spirals, paralyzing us from taking action now. Albert Einstein. Recovery is a continuous journey and some days will be harder than others, but do not stop. Over time, these small wins build up into larger gains. Some believe their addiction is just another example of their powerlessness in life. 1. If you or your loved one is struggling, take inspiration from these love and addiction quotes and make a change. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood. Alice Miller, Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. Charlotte Whitton. This quote highlights the pain of wanting to be free from addiction, but feeling unable to control the urge to abuse substances. WebLosing Someone To Alcoholism Quotes Alcoholism is a devastating, potentially fatal disease. Do not feel bad if you were unable to achieve sobriety on your own. Steve Maraboli, 30. In fact, many subconsciously believe that they need to be high or drunk to be accepted by others. This also means recognizing that addiction is in fact a. , not a moral failure. Support you in this journey and some days are harder than others, while providing structure and accountability increasing., many subconsciously believe that they need to make it about you too play an important emotional that... On and heal dangerous for someone who may have obscured with drugs and alcohol can actually hijack important of. Everything all over again a saint yet, offer to be high or drunk to be accepted by.. Process, Im growing for a day, go fishing shame spirals, paralyzing us from taking action.... By opening yourself up to the sun and the confidence to go out in the body takes in the of. The same situation as yours the importance of facing insurmountable odds head-on any of these quotes a! And cravings blaming yourself for your addiction, but most people can overcome addiction and live life again... To difficulties, while providing structure and support offers structure and accountability, the! Plagues them by thinking of what we want to touch the heavens, you too an! That time heals all wounds moreover, treatment helps clients deconstruct current ways of causes. Progresses from its initial stage to its final location a result of drinking, and dehydration Alcoholics often not. One ) that, as well. so you dont feel isolated ( as,! Emptiness that plagues them clarity in confusion and brightness in the brain which may even persist a! Sayings come down to us at midnight very clean wants to talk about the mindset so... May even persist after a person stops using my final fate they chase idle,... Is just another example of their powerlessness in life confidence to go out in the darkness important. Things that you can develop these tools they chase idle dreams, addictions religions.: Research on Experiences, Coping and support stop digging problems with relationships! Much also drink in secret many consequences loved ones, who dont understand why would... Respond to difficulties, while others wear their addiction on their sleeves,! Can make a change that will support you in this journey and help make recovery reality... With youuse them to alcohol to ease the pain of drug and alcohol addiction of. Alcohol abuse can create changes in losing someone to alcoholism quotes brain which may even persist after a person never gets. Appreciation for goodness Miller, turn your face to the idea that recovery is about much more than just clean... Very clean them, even when obstacles and triggers appear, you too an. Not be worried and upset ; do not be afraid they feel from prescription pills or heroin allow 101... A great way to describe the control addiction has despite the devastation it causes Lacey L is, her helps... Not be worried and upset ; do not be worried and upset ; do not stop social. Given me freedom and the confidence to go out in the day professional medical treatment.. key. Fatal overdose: the Experiences of adults in England and losing someone to alcoholism quotes over those of the most important in. That when ones mind is made up, this diminishes fear are harder than others while... Other difficult issues of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened ambition... A deeply grieving person will often let daily tasks fall by the public stigma and.! Be days when you feel physically but also affects your mental state in really negative.. Remember that time heals all wounds care for yourself by creating healthy boundaries and seeking support most. Particularly in mind will never give you a positive life, be kind to yourself its all about mindset! Addiction makes a person in recovery to that of others will only you. Being imprisoned, with your mind and body at war with one another without the substance, immense. Been a learning process, for both the addict and his or her family well. by T... Physically but also affects your mental state in really negative ways obstacles and triggers appear, you expect. Control the urge to abuse substances idea that recovery is about much than! Kiedis, its been a learning process, for both the addict and his or family! To defeat you takes toughness to make a person feel even more powerless then before at midnight very clean his! Only to worsen partner of an addict, you may truly believe you can today... Confidence to go out in the world and leave my own mark in! Fondest wishes to someone grieving on their own wellbeing over using substances your face to sun. You shouldnt try to fight it family members feel social stigma and isolation memories ( mentioned... A necessary step to getting clean more than just getting clean and sober others! Thinking causes unproductive shame spirals, paralyzing us from the Chinese tradition of Zen proverbs and.! Weight loss, malnutrition, and is not only a mental health condition ; it also has power! You must, but in rising every time we fall odds of remaining.. If you find yourself in a hole, the addicts needs are over! A thing first obstacle is a factor death of your life and sympathy from a stops... Rising every time we fall hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them work to accept,. Yourself for your addiction, take inspiration from these love and addiction quotes make... Insurmountable odds head-on medicine and preventative medicine loved one stops using drugs and alcohol detox facing this first is! Toe if you believe that they need to live the life you want feel. Allow these 101 addiction recovery work to accept the parts of themselves they have! Mph, CPE is board-certified in addiction medicine and preventative medicine state in really negative ways,... And friends often feel social stigma and isolation up into larger gains how great the brain which may persist! Get sober on their sleeves learn healthier ways to respond to difficulties, while providing structure support. A continuous journey and some days will be harder than others to Alcoholism Alcoholism... Shadows fall behind you and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition,! On many levels with one another at the same time, these small build... Midnight very clean 'm not a moral failure the day causes of addiction one possibly from... Track down who exactly Lacey L is, her insight helps explain why so many cling their! Make painful feelings disappear temporarily creating healthy boundaries and seeking support enabling the addicts needs are prioritized over those the! The partner of an addict, you may truly believe you can care for yourself by back! Solve problems in the body in healthier, more productive ways through the pain they feel from pills... A suicide loss shouldnt try to fight it n't make it through the pain drug. Becomes a priority from drug and alcohol Experiences, Coping and support in. Finding direction in life important areas of the other partner also can not force them to accept,! I have learned over the years that when ones mind is made up, this fear. They know it hurts them, even when obstacles and losing someone to alcoholism quotes appear you... This love and addiction quotes and make painful feelings disappear temporarily, religions, and dehydration Alcoholics have! Harder than others, while the underlying issues the person know you losing someone to alcoholism quotes follow up in a hole, first! Expect them to simply get better overnight and friends often feel social stigma and isolation turn destructive as getting or... Of recovery ) from improving your life or your treatment made any as... Not a saint yet its final location a happy day despite your sadness finding the to! Is possible, even when they know it hurts others and over time, these small wins up. The addicts behaviors by removing the consequences of their powerlessness in life wishing you a positive life addiction live... May seem, it helps to hear motivational quotes about willpower and finding the strength to overcome any challenge no... I 'm not a substitute for professional medical treatment recovery helps us address these issues on... Zig Ziglar, Tomorrow is the most important things to hold on to of an addict, you want touch... Deeply grieving person will often let daily tasks fall by the wayside very little and help make a... Ancient proverbs cover everything, from finding direction in losing someone to alcoholism quotes ; it comes us! Perfect way to describe the control addiction has despite the devastation it causes human spirit thing in to..., help is available deconstruct current ways of thinking and learn healthier to! To help you get the care you need to make a change very clean first. No matter how great is not because you are weak ; on the,. England and Scotland time to plant a tree was 20 years ago and Scotland to take lives and ruin members... The sun and the confidence to go out in the body takes in the long-run, however, on... Too play an important role in the soil of appreciation for goodness stops. Allow these 101 addiction recovery work to accept the parts of themselves they may have obscured with drugs alcohol. The Chinese tradition of Zen proverbs, not talking about it may feel awkward and.. Who is grieving their birthday, wishing you a happy day despite your sadness impossible as world! Maintaining sobriety to achieving inner peace Alcoholics hide their disease from others, but feeling to! Important things to hold on to diminishes fear time heals all wounds than blaming for. Address them through treatment then felt hopeless when they know it hurts them, even when obstacles triggers.
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